Lord of the Rings Minisodes
by Sailor Phantom of Middle Earth
Summary: These are very simple short stories about what happened in between the main storys of the Lord of the Rings Trilogy. Very silly and very funny.
1. Part 1

This is based off of Recollections by Lerayl fo-

???: Go read it! It is funny! If you like the Chrono series and Radical Dreamers(which it's based off of) you'll love this. So go now!

Thank you, Dhaos... I think. Anywho, I thought it was a great idea to do something similar to Lord of the Rings trilogy. And heeeeerrres Erikson!

Erikson: Thank you. I am here to explain a few things.

Dhaos: I'm here to keep you all in line (Stupid humans).

Erikson: -Ahem- The minisodes are in no specific order. So please don't try to make sense of it. Our mistress will try to keep the characters in character but still keeping it funny. If you have any ideas-

Dhaos: Keep them to yourself!

That's it! Dhaos, I'm sending you to the rabid fan girls.

Dhaos: 00 -Runs-

Get back here!! -Chases Dhaos-

Erikson: ... We would love to hear any ideas you may have, but please try to keep them PG13. Send a note to my mistress and she will be sure to give you credit. Also we don't mind critiquing like "You spelled (enter word here) wrong." but please no bashing. Now, please enj-

Dhaos: Die woman! -attacks by throwing ball of light-

-attack is deflected- Now take this; rabid fan girls go!

Dhaos's fans: WE LOVE YOU!

Dhaos: AHHHHHHH! -runs away again-

Erikson: ... ... ... -sigh- Please enjoy and review.

**Magic**

**----------**

"Wow Gandalf, that was amazing. How did you do that?" Frodo asked.

Gandalf took a moment to think of how to explain magic to the young Hobbit. He came up of the three perfect words and with a straight face he answered. "I have powers."

**Cleanliness**

**------------------**

"How does Legolas stay so clean?" Pippin asked Merry after the last orc battle was over.

"Well lets find out." Merry smiled as he pulled up a handful of mud. Pippin did the same and followed closely behind Legolas. "Ready?" Merry asked quietly. Pippin nodded and the mud balls flew threw the air at Legolas.

His keen ears heard the mud balls coming and quickly dodged each one. Including the bits of mud that fell as they swept over him. Merry and Pippin stared in awe then burst out laughing. Legolas turned around to see Aragorn's face coved in mud.

**Supper**

**-----------**

"Can we have supper now?" Pippin asked for the 5th time. Aragorn turned to the four Hobbits looking hopefully at him.

"I let you have breakfast, 2nd breakfast, elevensies, afternoon tea, and dinner. Do you _really_ _need_ Supper?" The Hobbits nodded. With a quiet groan he turn back around to see Weathertop not too far away. "You can have supper once we get there."

"Once we get there?" Merry asked smiling. Aragorn nodded and the four Hobbits began walking at an amazing pace, much faster than Aragorn imagined they could after they're long journey so far. It was then he realized how important food was to Hobbits.

**Conversation**

**---------------------**

"Yeesss my prrecciousss. Yess." Gollum sat on a rock speaking in his quiet raspy voice. "Don't you worry my precious. I will take care of you."

Not far away hid Sam and Frodo watching him. "Who do you recon he's talking to Mr. Frodo?" Sam asked.

Frodo shook his head before answering. "I think it's better that we _don't_ know Sam." The two walked slowly and quietly away from the strange creature called Gollum.

"My prrrrrecious."

**Woman**

**------------**

Sam was walking next to Gimli for a change and remembered something that had crossed his mind before. "Gimli, are there female dwarves?"

Gimli smiled at Sam. "You see lad, some believe there aren't. Others say they have beards just like me." He answered, stroking his beard proudly.

The Hobbit began wondering what Rosie would look like if she was a dwarf. He had many nightmares for over a week after that day.

**Snowshoes**

------------------

Gandalf pushed forward with his staff through the waist deep snow with Gimli following closely behind him. The two humans Aragorn and Borramir each carried two Hobbits since they were too small to try making it through the snow on their own. The Hobbits huddled close to the one that carried them as the harsh cold wind blew. Borramir looked to his right to see elf feet walking by him on top of the snow. Legolas passed the two humans and was coming to Gimli and Gandalf. The wind and snow seemed to have no effect on the blonde elf as he passed the dwarf and wizard.

"Stupid elf." Gimli muttered quietly to himself unaware of the grin Legolas was wearing.

**Bag End**

----------

After visiting Bilbo's home and hitting his head on the ceiling, bumping his knees and feet on the furniture, squeezing through the small arches, hitting his shoulders against the walls, bending down to walk through his whole house, sitting on the floor or an uncomfortable bench since the chairs were too small, Gandalf decided he would need to come up with a shrinking spell before his next visit.

**Fiction**

----------

"I got an idea. Frodo, come here boy." Bilbo called from his study.

"Yes uncle Bilbo?" He asked once in the room. The old Hobbit turned his chair around to face his nephew.

I've come up with a new story, about a new world." Frodo sat down in a chair to listen. Bilbo told Frodo his ideas of women wearing men's' clothes like it was normal. Carts that would move on their own so there was no need for horses. Large towns with structures that could each the sky.

"Oh Bilbo, if you do write that, everyone in Hobbit will think you're crazier than ever." Frodo laughed once he was finished. You should stick with your journeys."

Bilbo nodded and watched Frodo leave. "It was worth a try." He said before turning back to his book.

**Dirty**

-------

"I don't understand." Legolas said to Aragorn. "You have the beautiful Arwen and Eowyn in love with you when I'm the beautiful elf and you're the rugged dirty human, no offense."

Aragorn nodded. "Well, you could try getting dirty and seeing what happens."

Legolas gazed at his companion surprised for a moment then back to his calm expression. "I'm not _that_ desperate."


	2. Part 2

**A?N: I'm sooooooooo sorry for the long wait and short chapter. XP I've b een having a lot of trouble with these and then-**

**Dhaos: She forgot.**

**... Again, sorry. But atleast there is something. I'll try to be better and come up with more.**

**Rabbit**

----------

"Merry, look." Pippin sat by a log looking at the ground. Merry came over to see a large brown and white rabbit.

"That it?" He asked.

"Have you ever seen such a large rabbit?" Merry shrugged. The rabbit looked at the two and froze, the Hobbits did the same as to not frighten it. Seeing that they weren't going to move it started to leave but was stopped when an arrow zoomed past the Hobbits and into the rabbit. The two stared as Aragorn came up behind them and picked up the animal.

"What was that for Strider?" Merry asked.

"Breakfast." He answered and pulled the arrow out.

"Merry, for once in my life, I'm not hungry." Pippin said still staring at the spot where the rabbit once was. Merry slowly nodded.

**Creature**

--------------

A few Nazguls gazed at the large creature before them. Covered with black scales and a long neck to hold it's oval like head. It's wings were long a almost transperant. The tail waved back and forth slowly. Another Nazgul came to gaze at the creature.

"What is it?" One asked.

"I don't know. All I know is that we get to ride these things."

The Nazgul nodded. "Still, I would like to call it something."

"How about the large flying creature with beedy eyes, big sharp pointy teeth, that screams alot?" One suggested. The Nagul looked at the one blankly.

"How about Fred?" Another suggested.

"Nah."

"Lets call it the creature and leave it at that."

**Elflings?**

-------------

"Lord Elrond." Elrond turned around to the blonde elf that called him. "I just saw the strangest things. At first I believed they were elflings because of their pointy ears but then I saw their large hairy feet. Are they some type of beardless dwarf?"

"They are called Hobbits, like Bilbo, and they will be staying here for a while."

The elf sighed and started to leave. "At least they are not dwarves."

"No, they are coming later." Elrond relpied. The elf froze to the spot he stood hoping, wishing, _praying_ that he was joking. Too bad for him that Elrond doesn't joke.

**Dumped**

-------------

Aragorn had come back to Gondor with the surviving party after the last and final battle. He decided that he'd see how Eowyn was doing and hopfully sort out things between them. But how? The woman was in love with him. How do you tell a woman, for the tenth time, that you are in love with an elf. An elf that's leaving you forever but that's not the point. He was in love.

After trying to think of something to say, he found Eowyn alone. She spotted him the moment he entered. With a smlile on her face she rushed to him greatful to see that he was alive. '_OK, this is it._' He thought to himself. "Eowyn, we need to talk."

"Yes, we do." She smiled at him, making Aragorn feel worse about what he was going to say. "I'm in love with Faramir." She blurted out. "I guess this means you don't have to worry about choosing me over your lady elf." She smiled sweetly and left to find her new love, leaving Aragorn speechless for a long time.

**Double meaning**

--------------------------

The Witch King threw down his mace against the soldier's shield shattering it on contact. The soldier fell to the ground and quickly backed away from him. Finding his sword he got up and readied himself for a final attack. The Witch King found this amusing and decied to enlighten him. "No man can defeat me." He had expected him to fall to the ground in despair or attack him only to fail.

Instead the man took off his helmet reveling that it was a woman and said, "I am no man." She took her sword and plunged it into the Witch King. As he fell and collapssed into himself, he thought of how much he hated irony.

**Colorful**

-------------

A large army of orcs stood outside Sarumon's tower waiting for the wizard to come out. Once he did the orcs looked in confusion at the man in the colorful outfit. "I am your master!" He called out to them. "You shall obey me!" The orcs looked at each other wondering how they were going to take this man seriously when his clothes would change from black to pink to blue and every other color in just moments.


End file.
